Hey y’all! Next week, I’m divin’ into the most common questions I get asked all the time. Got somethin’ you’re curious about? Add your question to the comment section and I’ll be sure to answer! For now, let’s kick things off with the number one question I get!
How did you know HE was the one?
Let me take you back to 2015 when my husband was fixin to go out to sea for the very first time….
I never wanted him to leave. The thought of him going out to sea felt like a betrayal of the time we’d promised each other. I’d convinced myself we’d have more days, more quiet moments, but the night before his deployment tore that illusion apart. We shared one last candlelit dinner, it was a perfect evening where the world faded away, except for the gnawing ache in my stomach, a constant reminder that this was our final night for who knows how long. His smile, the way he reached for my hand across the table, made it harder to breathe through the dread. I wanted to memorize every second, but my heart kept whispering, This is it. Your time is up.
In my distraction, I left my purse at the restaurant, not realizing until later that my ID, which is required to get on base, for our final goodbye was inside. By the time I noticed, it was too late. The guards on base would not allow me access to bid my last farewell. The mistake felt like a cruel twist, stealing even the chance to stand by him one last time before he was gone.
Our last moment was rushed, frantic. Standing there, my heart sank as I fumbled through my bag, the absence of my ID dawning on me. He gave me a quick peck, his eyes soft but hurried, then turned and walked away, his single sea bag slung over his shoulder, packed to the brim. I stood frozen, watching him disappear, tears streaming down my face. My chest tightened, each breath a struggle, as the weight of his absence hit me.
He’d always said, “I feel so sorry for Navy wives.” I used to find it odd, brushing it off with a smile. But in that moment, alone and gasping through sobs, I understood. The ache was unbearable, a piercing void I hadn’t anticipated. I don’t know how I made it home, but I did.
The house felt cold, silent, empty. His presence lingered only in the shirt he’d worn the day before, tossed into the hamper. I meant to wash it, but as I reached for it, the faint scent of his cologne hit me like a wave. I clutched it to my chest, unable to let go, and never washed it. That shirt became my new treasure.
Each night, I cried myself to sleep, wrapping myself in its fading scent, clinging to the security of his love. I knew then, with unshakable certainty, that I was going to marry that boy that there was no doubt in my heart that he was the one.
As a military spouse, I’ve faced the challenges of watching my husband leave for sea 8 different times, and the truth is, it never gets easier. The constant goodbyes and uncertainties can weigh heavily, but I’ve found strength in God and community. My biggest advice? Dive deep into a church or supportive group. Don’t just attend on Sundays, join a small group or life group. It might feel awkward at first, but connecting with people who genuinely want to share life and support you makes all the difference. For me, our command’s Sunshine Committee was a lifeline, fostering connection and camaraderie. Life isn’t a one size fits all. If one life group doesn’t feel right then try another one. Don’t give up! Instead of letting loneliness or depression take hold, seek joy and distractions through these bonds. Stay resilient you’ve got this! If you have questions or need support, I’m here to help. <3
Yours Truly!!
Carolina Cupboard
for our husbands to return
My sweet Sailor
MY RECOMMENDATIONS:
Writin’ down my thoughts has been a lifeline, y’all. This journal, with its gentle prompts, helps me process the highs and lows of life. I jot down memories of our sweet moments like dancin’ in the kitchen to Patsy Cline or prayers for his safety. It’s also helped me reflect on why he’s the one, and even how he shows up for me, even from afar.
Find it Here: https://amzn.to/3H2uVK4
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman: This book’s a game-changer, darlin. It taught me how my husband and I give and receive love and it’s kept us connected through it all. Reading it together showed me how he makes an effort to speak my love language, like leaving me sweet notes before he deploys. It’s a must for any couple wanting to know if they’re truly meant to be. Find it here: https://amzn.to/43poI3C
Devotional Book: The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick: This 40-day devotional’s like a daily dose of encouragement, y’all. Each day’s challenge, like writin’ a heartfelt letter or prayin’ for your spouse, helped me see my husband’s heart and our love. It’s perfect for all couples! Read it over sweet tea on the porch.
Find it here: https://amzn.to/3SuJhWa
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